


spend the days dreaming and the nights awake

by oh_la_fraise



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Friendship, minor spoilers for s2 trailers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9166441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_la_fraise/pseuds/oh_la_fraise
Summary: “You could stay with me,” Magnus said, turning to Simon.  It was the first time during the conversation anyone had addressed him directly.  “The warlocks have a better relationship with the vampires on the whole, and we can pass it off as kooky Magnus doing what he wants without thinking it through anyway.”AKA: the awkward roommate Simon and Magnus brotp fic no one asked for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this started out a quick h/c oneshot based on one of the new trailers, and turned into this ridiculous fic. It's a bit rushed, but I really wanted to get it up before S2 completely josses it.
> 
> A big shout out to LadyMatt for cheering me on and for MenckensChrestomethy for humoring me and talking through some of the more dubious logistics of this fic. 
> 
> Title is from Pierre by Ryn Weaver.

Hugging Jocelyn was the first time since he’d met the Shadowhunters that Simon had felt things would be okay.

She and Luke had always been like second parents to him.Luke’s support as he’d adjusted to being a vampire had helped Simon more than he thought Luke knew, but it’d always lurked in the back of his head that Jocelyn was missing, and, later, in a weird magical coma that no one seemed to be able to fix.As he watched Luke and Jocelyn embrace, Clary smushed between them, things felt right in a way they hadn’t since this whole mess had started.

Jocelyn pulled away from the other two.They were all teary eyed.Jocelyn blinked.“Simon?”

He smiled, fangs descending.“Hi Ms. F,” he said.“You’ve missed a lot.”

By the time they’d caught Jocelyn up on everything that happened, it was clear everyone was flagging with exhaustion.Jace’s missing presence loomed, and Alec had long since disappeared to coordinate the search for him.Thankfully, Izzy seemed to read Simon’s mind.“We should get some rest.We’ll all be in better shape to hunt for Jace after a little bit of sleep.” 

Magnus nodded towards where Luke, Jocelyn and Clary were all standing in a tight circle.“You want me to snap you three a portal back to the Jade Wolf?”

Reality snapped back into place.It dawned upon Simon slowly that after freeing Camille, he probably wasn’t about to be welcomed back into DuMort with open arms.

Luke nodded, but before he could speak, Clary looked at her mom.“Mom,” she started, “I’m really sorry, but I think I’m going to stay here.I want to be close by if they find anything out about Jace.” 

Jocelyn nodded.“No, sweetheart; I understand.Please let me know if they find anything?”She closed her eyes.“I can’t believe he’s alive,” she said.Luke reached up and squeezed her shoulder.

Simon didn’t want to ruin the moment, but he doubted the Institute would be thrilled to host him either, not that he particularly wanted to stay there.“Um,” he started.“Where should I go?” 

Clary blinked.“You could stay with me here.”As appealing as the idea was, Simon really did not want to crash at the Institute, where they’d made their opinions on vampires quite clear. 

Luke waved.“Simon can stay with me and Jocelyn.”Jocelyn nodded, but Simon hesitated.First of all, he’d seen Luke’s bachelor pad—it barely fit Luke himself, little less two other people.And he’d seen the way he and Jocelyn looked at each other.He really did not want to be the cock block for their awkward “you just woke up from a magical coma” sex.

Magnus coughed.“No offense, Luke, but things are shaky enough already with the vampires and the werewolves.If you as the head alpha take Simon in, that bridge may crumble altogether.”

Great.Now Simon was singlehandedly destroying relations between two entire species.

Luke shrugged, unconcerned. “They’ll just have to deal with it.I’m not letting Simon at the mercy of the Institute.”

“You could stay with me,” Magnus said, turning to Simon.It was the first time during the conversation anyone had addressed him directly.“The warlocks have a better relationship with the vampires on the whole, and we can pass it off as kooky Magnus doing what he wants without thinking it through anyway.”

Simon paused, considering.He didn’t know Magnus all that well.Magnus had helped them considerably, and his dramatic entrance at Alec’ wedding had been charming.But Magnus had also been the one, no matter how Jocelyn had been involved, to take Clary’s memories.He’d also saved Luke’s life, though, at great expense to himself.Luke trusted Magnus, and that meant a lot.

But regardless of how he felt, what choice did Simon have?He couldn’t go home; he couldn’t go to DuMort; he couldn’t stay at the Institute, and he couldn’t go with Luke and Jocelyn, at least for now. 

He nodded, and Magnus nodded back.“Okay then,” Magnus said, snapping his fingers. Two shimmering portals appeared.“Jade Wolf on the right; my loft on the loft.”

Before they left, Jocelyn and Luke both squeezed him tightly.“Call me if you need anything,” Luke said.“You’ll be safe with Magnus.”Simon nodded, and they disappeared through the portal.Magnus smiled at him, doing an _after you_ gesture between Simon and the remaining portal.

He stepped out of the portal into Magnus’s loft, and immediately took a step back when he saw sunlight streaming through the windows.Magnus, appearing beside him, waved his hand.

“It’s okay, Simon,” he said.“You’re not the first vampire to stay with me.I’ve enchanted them.”He snapped his fingers, and the windows went completely black before returning to their sunny state.“They just reflect what’s on the outside, like a projection.It’s not actual sunlight, anymore.”

Simon stared at him skeptically before cautiously extending a hand into the patch of sunlight shining through the window.It felt warm, like normal sunlight would, but it didn’t burn.He stepped completely into the sun, letting the heat embrace him.“Magnus. . .” he breathed.It was incredible.

Magnus smiled.Alone in his apartment, Magnus was much less severe than Simon was used to seeing him. “C’mon, let me show you to the guest room.”

The guest room was tiny, but it was decorated with the same tasteful, vibrant flare as the rest of Magnus’s apartment.It was windowless, but it somehow still carried the bright sunniness from the living room.The bed had a think velvet awning above it, and an open velvet curtain; Simon realized he could pull it shut and be in complete darkness while he slept. No more fucking coffins. 

“Thanks, Magnus,” he said again as he inched towards the soft looking bed.He was suddenly _so_ tired.

“No problem, Simon.”

Magnus shut the door behind him, and Simon collapsed gratefully on the bed. 

~

He woke up slowly.For a minute, Simon was so warm and content that he forgot where he was, and _what_ he was. Against the soft sheets, in the cool darkness, he felt at peace. 

Then his fang nicked his bottom lip.He sighed.That moment was over. 

He stretched, pulling back the heavy velvet curtain.The moment he did, an aroma of scents hit his nose.He stumbled into the kitchen to find Magnus humming at the stove, busily poking at a bubbling pan.It felt homey; Simon’s family all loved to cook, and there was always something simmering in their kitchen.Judging by the light outside, it was some time around sunset; Simon had slept almost the entire day. 

“Good evening,” Magnus said, smiling.“Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Simon said.“What are you cooking?”He could smell a myriad of spices, and, underneath them, the sweet, dark scent of Magnus’s pulsing blood. 

“Pelmeni.I learned to make it while I was living in Russia.Want some?It’s good practice for you to learn to pretend to eat human food.”  
  
“No, thanks.” Simon said.“But I should, uh.How should I feed?”His body felt weak in a way that Simon knew he was way overdue for blood.

Magnus waved a hand dismissively.“I have a small stock of blood I keep for emergencies.Give me a minute to make sure this doesn’t burn, and I’ll find it for you.”

“Thanks, Magnus,” Simon said.“And thanks for being so, uh, nice to me.And letting me crash here and all.”He knew that Magnus probably only had the windows and the blood and all that because of Camille, and he was only putting up with Simon because he was good friends with Luke and the Frays, but it was still a kind gesture nonetheless. 

“Again, it’s no problem.Downworlders have to stick together, yeah?”

Despite himself, Simon snorted.“What are we, a girl gang?”

“Lindsay Lohan has nothing on me,” Magnus chuckled, cutting the stove off.He walked out of the kitchen, Simon trailing behind him.Opening a large armoire, he frowned.“There’s not much, I’m afraid.It’s an emergency stash, so I’ll have to stock up more.”

Simon sniffed the blood.“It’s human,” he said, surprised.

Magnus shrugged.“Double duty.Luke isn’t the first person to come crashing through my door in need of healing.”

Simon blinked.Staring at the gaggle of potions in Magnus’s cabinet, he realized just how little he knew about the shadow world. “Can werewolves even use human blood?”

“Human blood is kind of the O negative of species blood.Humans have enough in common with werewolves and warlocks and shadowhunters that we can use their blood, but if I gave a human my blood, for instance, it would probably kill them.”

“Wow.People found that out by trial and error, I guess?”

“Same as a lot of human medicine, honestly.”Magnus removed a bag of blood.Instead of handing it over to Simon, he snapped his fingers.The bag disappeared; in its place was a large coffee mug.He handed it to Simon.“Not as elegant as a martini glass, I’m afraid, but it wouldn’t all fit in there.”

“Thanks,” Simon said, looking doubtfully at the coffee mug. _There’s a chance this is wine,_ it said, scrawled in pink writing on the side.Magnus had a certain flare, that was for sure.“I guess I’ll just, uh,” he gestured to his room.

“Nonsense.Eat with me!It’s been awhile since I’ve had company for dinner.”

Simon wrinkled his nose.“It gets kinda gross.” 

Magnus rolled his eyes.“Please, I’ve seen much worse.Here.”Magnus eyes flashed.His brown pupils disappeared, replaced by glowing gold cat eyes.His warlock mark, Simon realized.“Now, we’re just a couple of tired Downworlders bumming around the apartment in all of our glory.”

Simon nodded.He had a feeling what Magnus had done nonchalantly was a bigger gesture than Simon even realized.He obediently followed Magnus back into the kitchen, where he dished a bowl of the pelmeni before settling down at his table.Simon followed, but he hesitated; the rest of the table was cored with books and vials of brightly colored liquids.“Sorry,” Magnus said, snapping his fingers.The vials and books disappeared.“I was in the middle of something before this whole mess started.”

Simon sat down gently.Magnus chattered animatedly, and Simon listened half-heartedly, distracted.Everything had changed so quickly.Here he was, a newly born vampire eating dinner—or drinking dinner, in his case—with a supreme wizard, or whatever Magnus’s formal title was.The only thing he and Magnus had in common was that they’d both been taken for a ride with Camille, and that wasn’t the most solid base for a friendship.Magnus seemed to know he was distracted, because when Simon cottoned on to the fact that Magnus was asking him a question and responded nonsensically, Magnus just nodded and changed the subject.Simon really appreciated it.

“I always thought you were a Slytherin, but I’m beginning to think you’re more of a Ravenclaw,” he blurted it out.

Magnus stared at him bemusedly.“I’m sorry?”

“You know, from Harry Potter?”

Magnus continued to stare. 

“Sorry.I was thinking about them cause, you know, wizards.And you’re a warlock.”

Magnus shrugged.It was elegant, as was everything he did.“I’m afraid I’ve never seen them, sorry.”

“Oh.”Simon wasn’t sure if he could still blush from embarrassment, but it certainly felt like it.

“Well,” Magnus said, pushing himself back from the table.“I’m afraid I’m going to have to retire for the night. I’ve warded a few cabinets that have more. . .volatile spell ingredients in them, but feel free to help yourself to the TV and the books any thing else.”  


Simon nodded.“Thanks again, Magnus.” He didn’t know how to stop thanking Magnus.Simon wasn’t stupid; he knew Magnus taking him in was a major imposition.Simon figured the least he could do was try to stay out of Magnus’s hair and be the neatest house guest ever.

~

Staying out of Magnus’s hair wasn’t difficult, it turned out; the nights that passed were relatively lonely.Simon slept during the day, but Magnus was gone for the most part anyway. He woke up surprisingly early, and said a quick goodbye to Simon before leaving to meet with clients for the day.Magnus usually got back late and had a quick meal with Simon before going to before going to bed.Magnus was a good inner companion, entertaining Simon with stories about all the crazy antics he’d gotten up to in the last few centuries. Simon went to the Institute at night sometimes—with the search for Jace ramping up, it was busy at all hours of the day—but there wasn’t much he could do there. He felt in the way, and the heavy, judgmental stares of the Shadowhunters on him. New York was alive at night, and Simon wanted to get reacquainted with his city, but he was terrified of going outside beyond the short, relatively empty pathway to the Institute. Even feeding regularly, Simon still didn’t trust himself to be unaccompanied around humans.The fact that Camille was lurking somewhere was just the cherry on top. 

As much as he hated to admit it, Simon missed DuMort.It had been the closest thing he’d had to a home since he’d been turned, and he felt more like he belonged there anywhere else.A lot of that had been due to Raphael. He’d made Simon feel valued and _important._ Simon had responsibilities there; he hadn’t been constantly in the way.And the other vampires, for the most part, had been kind to Simon, once he’d been turned.They’d understood the difficulty he was going through.He wouldn’t go back and do anything differently—he wanted to save Jocelyn almost as much as Luke and Clary—but Simon really wished he hadn’t had to give up DuMort in the process.

Simon had a lot of time to fill at night.At first, he’d binged on Netflix, but lately he had been quietly exploring Magnus’s library at night while Magnus was asleep.He felt out of his depth in the shadow world, and he’d always been the type of person to research obsessively when he could.There was a treasure trove of down worlder history in Magnus’s collection, and Simon had been reading them voraciously.At first, he’d had trouble understanding the thick tomes—many of them were in foreign languages altogether—but gradually he’d found books a little more introductory.It was almost as if the library was quietly rearranging itself to his tastes, and Simon wouldn’t be entirely surprised to figure out that it was.

It was one night when he was in the library that he stumbled upon a guitar that he was certain hadn’t been there the day before.It was an old Gibson and an amazing quality; Simon ran a hand over it reverently.Although he wasn’t an artist like Clary, Simon had always been creative.Music and cooking were such fundamental ways he expressed himself. Cooking he had been cut off from, but there was no reason he couldn’t still play music, Simon thought, picking up the guitar gently.

He strummed it a few times, and before he knew it, he was lost in the music.He played through all of his old favorites, and some of the originals he had written with Maureen. It was the most like himself he’d felt since he’d met Camille.Simon began to sing, and he felt _human_ again.

Simon was unsure how long he’d been strumming away before he heard a cough from the door.He looked up to see Magnus standing in the doorway.He was only wearing a pair of loose sweatpants; Simon couldn’t help but stare at his abs, because they were ridiculous.His hair was soft and rumpled, and his cat eyes glowed in the dark out of a white nighttime fade mask.“As charming as the John Mayer act is, do you mind keeping it down?I only get so much time to sleep; I need to take advantage of it while I can.”

Simon nearly dropped the guitar.His face flamed.How loud had he even been?“Of course.Magnus, I’m so sorry.It won’t happen again.”

Magnus nodded.“See that it doesn’t,” he said, and left to go back to bed.

Simon looked down at the guitar sadly.It seemed like that was done, at least while Magnus was around.So much for that resolution to be an unobtrusive house guest.

~

The next morning, Simon didn’t join Magnus for their usual breakfast.Instead, he hid in his room, too mortified to leave the safety of his bed.He heard Magnus tread lightly and pause outside of his door, but eventually Magnus walked away.After the front door finally shut, Simon tossed and turned, taking forever to drift off to sleep.

His plan was to feed before Magnus returned home, but when he woke up, he could smell Magnus’s cooking from his bedroom.He sighed.He considered just skipping another meal, but he really needed to feed, and the last thing he wanted was for Magnus to have to force feed him because Simon was too weak. 

So he climbed out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. 

Magnus raised an eyebrow.“Ah, there’s Keith Richards.I was beginning to think you were too famous to show your face.”

“Sorry about last night,” Simon said quietly. 

Magnus rolled his eyes.“Please.I’m sorry I snapped.I’m cranky if I don’t get enough sleep; I once yelled at an actual King because he tried to wake me up.I sound proofed the library this morning, so feel free to play in there to your hearts content.”

Simon blinked.He’d expected Magnus to still be angry, not apologizing to him and doing Simon favors.“Thanks.It was a good distraction.”

“It’s no problem.And you’re not chained in the apartment, you know,” Magnus said.“You are allowed to leave, and not just to help Clary find Jace.” 

He sighed.“It’s still hard to be out around people.Ya know,” he tapped his fangs.“Luke’s been helping me, but there’s only so much he knows. Plus he’s really busy with being the alpha and Jocelyn being awake and all.”

“Give me a day or two to collect some supplies.I’ll help you.”

Simon blinked.“But you just said you needed sleep.”

“Well, far be it from me to release an untrained vampire on the unsuspecting streets of New York.”

“You’d do that for me?Thanks.”

Magnus smiled, and it almost looked sadistic.“Don’t thank me yet.”

True to his word, the next day when Magnus returned home, he was laden with an armful of books and a clinking sack.He dumped everything on the table and nodded at Simon.“Okay, you ready?”

Simon was not ready.

Training with Magnus was intense, to put it mildly.It was like college and swim team on steroids.Magnus was teaching him everything from down worlder history and politics to what exactly his new body was capable of.Often, they end up shoving the couch against the wall and sparring; Simon found out the hard way that Magnus’s abs weren’t just for show.Magnus wasn’t quite as patient a teacher as Luke was, but what Magnus lacked in bedside manner he made up in sheer knowledge. He always seemed to know the answer to whatever random questions Simon asked him.For all of his references to great people of the past, training with Magnus was the first time that Simon realized Magnus really was significantly older than he looked.Simon wanted to ask him what the secret was to staying alive that long without going mad from grief, but he bit his tongue from asking.That was an incredibly personal question to ask someone Simon considered more of a benevolent dictator than a friend.

It didn’t help Magnus’s disposition any that, with Simon’s training added in to his day to day routine, Magnus was clearly exhausted.He was gone usually around sun up, making sure the New York warlocks were adequately warded and mediating warlock conflicts and then dealing with his paying customers.He spent a good bit of time at the Institute, sometimes during the day and sometimes at night when Simon was there as well.At first, Simon assumed it was to spend time with Alec, but the more Simon saw Magnus working, the more he thought Magnus just didn’t have time. The second he arrived at the Institute, Magnus was being pulled in a thousand different directions; this Shadowhunter needed help updating the wards, and that one needed his help tracking an ally of Valentines.Besides, Alec was so consumed with finding his parabatai that he hardly seemed to notice Magnus was even there.Alec rarely came over to the loft, and when he did he didn’t stay long.Even though the sexual tension between them was still thick enough to cut with a knife, it seemed that Jace’s kidnapping had put a hold their romance.

“And then he made me write an _essay_!Like I’m in high school or something.‘It has to be 500 words, Simon.’ And he sat there and counted them!”

Clary chuckled at Simon’s dramatic retelling of his tutelage under Magnus. Simon was exhausted, and sore, Jesus, who would have thought the warlock was so sadistic?After Magnus had dismissed him, Simon had fled to the Institute, partially to see Clary but also to get away from the guy who thought MMA was a valid training exercise.

It was good to see Clary, and better to see her laugh.She’d been withdrawn since Jace had disappeared, even more so than when her mother was gone.Simon thought it was the helplessness of it all—she’d gotten Jocelyn back just to see Jace take her place a few days later.And when Jocelyn had been gone, Clary hadn’t truly understood Valentine’s depravity.Jace wasn’t in a coma to protect him, either; god only knew what Valentine was doing to him. 

“Sounds like Ms. Bushwitz in seventh grade,” Clary said.

“Ugh,”Simon shuddered.“At least Magnus is nice to look at.I don’t think I could handle it if I was getting my ass kicked on a regular basis by a grandma like Ms. Bushwitz.”

Clary laughed again.“I won’t tell Alec you find him attractive.I like you breathing.”

“Breathing-ish,” he said.“What’s up with them, anyway?I think the only time Magnus sees him is when he’s helping at the Institute.”

“I think he’s so obsessed with finding Jace that he’s ignoring everything else.They’re parabatai; apparently it’d be weird if he was acting any other way.I’m sure Magnus understands.”

“Yeah, but. . .” Simon struggled to explain what he was thinking.“Magnus just seems to be doing a lot, is all.Training and hosting me, seeing his clients, helping find Jace, protecting the other New York warlocks.It just seems like he could use Alec right now.”

Clary shrugged. “I think we all could use a lot of things right now.It’s just the way things are, for now.”

~

Simon woke up peacefully.Stumbling into the living room to look for food, he thumbed idly through his phone.He absentmindedly noticed the date, and then froze.

Oh god, it was Rebecca’s birthday. 

He’d been so caught up with all of his training and looking for Jace and adjusting to being dead that he’d completely forgotten.And he’d never forgotten her birthday.They gave each other grief constantly like all siblings did, but she was his big sister, his idol, and one of the most important people in the world to him.He’d always sent weeks searching for just the perfect gift for her. 

And now he’d forgotten altogether.

He collapsed on the couch, pulling up her number.He hesitated, thumb hovering over the dial button.Would she even want to hear from him?He was sure she and his mom thought he was a junkie by now, and he’d completely forgotten about her birthday.Why would she even want to talk to Simon?  


But Simon knew that if he didn’t call her, he would never forgive himself.He hit call resolutely.

The phone rang, and rang again.Simon looked at the time.It was 8:30; she was probably already pregraming with her friends.A few seconds later, his sister’s cheery voicemail started. _Hey, it’s Rebecca!_ it chirped. _I’m avoiding you, so leave a message and I’ll call back when I’m ready to socialize with human beings again._

_“_ Hey, Bex. . .”he started. He paused, swallowing.Where did he even start? _Sorry I forgot your birthday because I was busy being a vampire._ “Happy birthday.I have your gift. . .I’m just not finished yet.”A lie, but he couldn’t admit he’d forgotten, even to her voicemail.“Anyway, I love you, and I’ll see you soon, okay?Oh, it’s Simon, by the way.” He added needlessly before hanging up the phone.

He stared into space before getting onto Facebook.Sure enough, she had already checked into a swanky restaurant downtown.

Simon let the phone fall away from his hand, staring at the ceiling.He felt so, so tired.He couldn’t even _cry,_ because of his stupid new body.Most days, he was glad Clary brought him back to have some semblance of a life, but times like now he wondered if it was worth it.Not that he wanted to be dead, but what kind of life was this?He rarely left the loft, and when he did it was to go to the Institute.He couldn’t cook, or eat, or play with his band, or do anything that made life worth living.He couldn’t be with his family, and Clary and Luke were busy to spend much time with him.He didn’t have a home anymore.

The door jangled, signaling Magnus’s arrival.Oh, right, he also had a landlord who was the world’s most sadistic teacher and who was probably only tolerating him out of a misplaced sense of duty as a down world Mary Poppins.

“Congratulations, Simon, for tonight you are going to help me and learn the joys of cricket oil extraction—what’s wrong?”Magnus had stopped in his tracks, a bag that was disturbingly _chirping_ dangling from his fingers.Simon sniffed. 

“It’s my sister’s birthday,” he said quietly, too tired to lie.“I always make her breakfast.”

Magnus’s eyes softened.He looked down at the bag in his hand and sighed.A snap of his fingers and it was gone.“I didn’t really feel like doing that tonight anyway.The smell always lingers no matter what I do. You like Star Wars, right?The new one is out.”

Simon recognized the gesture for what it was, but he shook his head.“I don’t really feel like trying to go out tonight, Magnus.I’m sorry.”

Magnus waved a hand.“We can watch it here.I don’t even need magic for that; just a not-shitty bootleg.”

  
Simon considered the idea.He was in no mental state to really appreciate a new Star Wars movie for the first time, but Magnus seemed to be trying, cat eyes wide and earnest.And the last thing Simon wanted right now was to be alone.He’d always depended on friends and family to comfort him when he was upset.Given his current predicament, Magnus as probably the best he was going to get.“Okay.” 

Magnus beamed and settled down on the couch.After a few seconds of fiddling with the remote and snapping his fingers, the familiar Star Wars theme drifted over them, and Simon let himself get caught up in the movie.

When it ended, he blinked, coming back to himself.He had to admit, he did feel a little better.

Magnus smiled at him.“Want to watch another one?”

“Shouldn’t we start training?”

“I think we can skip one night.”

“What happened to no excuses?” Simon asked. 

“I’ll figure out an essay you can write that relates Star Wars to down worlder politics, or something.”

He smiled, laughing despite himself.“Thanks, Magnus.”

“It’s no trouble.”

“Still.It was an awfully nice thing to do for someone you don’t like.”The comment slipped out without thinking; Simon didn’t have much of a verbal filter at the best of times, and now he was completely tapped out.  


Magnus stared at him.“What makes you think I don’t like you?”

Simon looked down.“I mean, come on, you’re just taking me in out of guilt or duty or whatever.”

“Hey,”Magnus said softly.“I assure you, Simon, I don’t let people that I don’t like into my home.Especially not as houseguests.”

“But I’m in your hair all the time, and I don’t know anything.You’re this powerful being wasting so much time and energy training a weak fledgling. How could you possibly not be annoyed by me?”

“Well, I didn’t say I wasn’t _annoyed_ by you,” Magnus laughed.“But there’s a lot to learn when you first become part of the down world, and I remember how overwhelming it all is.Honestly, you’ve been picking up on things incredibly quickly, all things considered. You have a lot of potential.”

“Yeah?”Simon felt like he was twelve, getting gold stars on his report card again, but he soaked up the praise nonetheless. 

“Yeah.It took me ages to learn the werewolf clans, and there were a lot less when I first started.Plus, you’re learning to control your vampiric abilities extremely well.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.Everything just seems so . . .much.I’m terrified to even go outside.What if I hurt someone?”

“You haven’t so far.You just have to trust yourself.And you won’t.”

“You sound pretty confident.”

Magnus smiled.“I am.I believe you can do it.”

Simon wasn’t sure how to respond to that.Once again, it seemed Magnus sensed his unsureness, because he smiled.“That wasn’t completely awful.I could stand to watch another one if you want.”

“You don’t like Star Wars?”

“I always liked Star Trek better.”

Simon gasped.“Heathen!”

But Simon giggled anyway.And for the first time, he found himself not just grateful to Magnus, but genuinely liking him as well. 

~

“Okay, that’s enough for today,” Magnus said, clapping his hands. 

Simon stared up at Magnus from where he was laying on the ground, sore and panting.“But we just started.”Not that he minded not getting his ass kicked all evening, but Magnus was a stickler for not slacking.

‘I’m afraid, grasshopper, that I have other plans tonight.”Magnus was smiling almost manically.

“Yeah?Looks like you’re excited.”

“I just have a date with Alexander, is all,” Magnus said, feigning nonchalance.Simon wolf whistled as Magnus vanished into the bathroom.He heard the shower start up after a minute.

He’d have to blind not to notice how ridiculously fucking hot Magnus was.When they’d first met, he’d felt the same dumb heart-fluttery feeling around Magnus that he’d felt around Izzy and Raphael and Jace and _why were all of Clary’s weird new friends so attractive._ Any lingering attraction had been killed when he started to live with the guy; besides the fact that Magnus was clearly completed besotted with Alec, Magnus leaving his used makeup wipes on the bathroom counter and leaving the sink full of dirty dishes did not a budding attraction make.But even still, Simon had to do a double take when Magnus stepped out of the bathroom for his date with Alec.

Even if Magnus had insisted on getting ready by hand instead of using magic and hogging the bathroom for the last hour and a half.Simon really had to pee. 

Magnus was in a pair of tight leather pants that left very little to the imagination.He’d paired it with a silky white, loose fitting shirt split almost down to his naval.He had on a pair of ankle boots with the slightest heel, and his usual dark eyeliner paired with a dark crimson lipstick.On anyone else, the outfit would look like a bad pirate costume, but Magnus looked like he’d just come straight off a Parisian runaway. 

Magnus smirked when he caught Simon looking, twirling around to let Simon get a view of his tight ass.Simon shrugged shamelessly.“You look hot, man.”

“I know,” Magnus said, smirking as he settled on the back of the couch. He kept glancing at the door, obviously waiting for Alec to arrive.

Ten minutes passed.

Twenty. 

Magnus slipped around to actually sit on the couch. 

Thirty.

Magnus looked down at his phone, and then back up at the door.“I should call him,” Magnus said uncertainly.It was a tone Simon had never heard before.“He could be in trouble.”He looked at Simon for validation. 

Simon nodded and Magnus hit the first speed dial on his phone.He put it up to his ear, brow furrowed. 

Simon could hear the phone as clear as day: a strange perk of vampirism.“Hello?” Alec said as the phone clicked almost immediately.

“Alexander?Is everything okay?” Magnus asked.There was none of the usual snark in Magnus’s voice.

“Hey Magnus.Yeah, everything’s fine.Why?”

“I was just making sure since you were running late is all.”

“Running la— _shit,”_ Alec swore.“Our date.I’m so sorry, Magnus; I completely forgot.”

Magnus’s face shuddered.“It’s okay.Are you still able to make it?”

There was silence on the phone. “We found a promising lead on Jace,” Alec said hesitantly. 

Magnus closed his eyes.“It’s okay, Alec; I understand.”

“Magnus, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Magnus repeated.“Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

“Thanks Magnus,” Alec said softly.

“Talk to you later.”

Magnus hung up the phone gently and stood up.His face was blank.“I’m going to go change,” he said, disappearing into his bedroom before Simon could say anything.

Simon watched him go.He felt heart broken for Magnus, and angry on his behalf.He stood, half convinced he should over to the Institute and drag Alec kicking and screaming back to the loft.But then he sat back down.Meddling in Magnus’s affairs wouldn’t help any.

So instead, he rose again and started poking around in Magnus’s kitchen. 

Magnus had a surprisingly well stocked pantry.He’d gotten used to Magnus cooking—it was exciting to watch him.Magnus had picked up recipes from all around the world, and Simon loved to listen to them. He almost had what Simon needed to make papas rellenas, but no matter how hard Simon looked, he couldn’t find any sofrito. 

Simon waffled, glancing towards the door. You couldn’t make papas rellenas without sofrito. There was a bodega right down the street that was sure to have it.It was plenty dark enough; he could go and get it before Magnus even knew he was gone.

The thought of going outside was as frightening as ever.But he looked at Magnus’s shut bedroom door and the piles of makeup scattered on the bathroom counter.He squared his shoulders and slipped out the door. 

When he stepped outside, the sidewalk was busy with people; it was barely 9:00 o’clock, he realized.Practically mid day for a city like New York. The air was cold and crisp; it was beginning to transition into winter. It hit him with a pang that he wouldn’t be home to celebrate Hanukkah this year, but Simon pushed that thought aside.This was about Magnus, not him.He walked quickly, trying to ignore the sweet scent of blood all through the air.With so many people, it was all he could smell.He was suddenly grateful for Magnus being so hard on him during training—whatever Magnus had done to him, this was a thousand times harder. 

He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally stepped into the bodega.The shop keeper, an elderly woman that reminded him of his abuela, smiled at him, and he approached her slowly.“Excuse me, ma’am,” he said quietly, using every bit of politeness his mother had drilled into him.“Where is your sofrito?”

She smiled more widely.“Here, dear.I’ll show you.”She led him through aisles of fruit and vegetables and tortillas and meat; the store felt like it had sprung right out of his childhood.She pulled down a familiar glass jar, pressing it into his hands.“What are you making?”

“Papas rellenas.My friend is having a rough day; I thought it would cheer him up.”

She smiled.“You’re a good boy.It’s nice to see kids of your generation cooking.”

“My abuela taught me.Between her and my bubbe, there was no way I was getting out of it.”

She chuckled, handing him back his change.Outside, bag in hand, he felt so accomplished that he almost didn’t notice the pulsing heartbeats around him. Back in the loft, he fired up Magnus’s stove and set to work. It felt good, to be cooking again; mashing the potatoes and frying the hamburger felt like he was at home.Before long, he had a bowl of beautiful papas rellenas.He plated them; the smell making him hungry even though he couldn’t eat it.Simon wondered absentmindedly what would happen if he added seasoning to his blood, and resolved to ask Magnus about it when things had settled down a little.

Carrying the plate and a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade, he knocked on Magnus’s door softly.After a minute of rustling inside, the door swung open.Magnus was in worn pajamas, and the gel and make up was gone.He looked disconcertingly soft.Simon was used to seeing his eyes without the glamor by now; there was still disappointment reflected in his cat eyes.

Simon held out the tea and the plate.“I made papas rellenas if you’re hungry?Not to brag, but I’m a pretty good cook.”

Magnus stared at him blankly before closing his eyes.He opened them again, and nodded.“Would you eat with me?”

Simon smiled.“Sure. I was pretty hungry anyway.”

They migrated towards the kitchen.Magnus settled at the table, and Simon joined him after snagging a bag of blood and a bowl.Magnus hummed in surprise when he took a bite.“It’s very good.”

“What, did you think I was lying?I told you I was a good cook!”

“I had my doubts,” Magnus chuckled.

Simon sighed.“I’m sorry you got stood up.”

Magnus’s face shuddered again, and Simon felt like a dick for bringing it up.“It happens,” Magnus said.“Finding Jace is the most important thing right now.”

“Yeah. . .but you’re important too,” he said cautiously.

Magnus waved a hand.“It sucks, but I don’t blame Alexander.His parabatai is in trouble.Imagine if someone were hurting Clary, and you could physically feel her being tortured.You probably wouldn’t be wanting to go on a date in that scenario.”

Simon paled.“No, not likely.”

“Where’d you learn to make this?” Magnus asked.It wasn’t the first time Magnus had changed the subject out of nowhere in an awkward conversation, but usually it was for Simon’s benefit, not Magnus’s.

“My abuela always used to make it for me when I was feeling blue.Both sides of my family are big foodies.My abuela taught me how to make Cuban food, and my mom taught me to make Jewish food.Clary would always come over to my house for dinner, because grilled cheese are about the only thing Jocelyn can make.”He laughed.“I don’t really keep Kosher, but my mom’s family is pretty strict about it, so I’ve figured out some pretty creative ways to get around all the pork fat over the years.I used to dream about opening up a Cuban-Jewish fusion restaurant one day.” 

“But I guess that’s shot now,” he said, shrugging.

“Just because your life is different now, doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams,” Magnus said softly.“Pandemonium has a small bar menu; you should come one night and play around in the kitchen.If you want, we could run whatever you make on special.”

Simon stared.“That’d be great, Magnus.”

To think, he’d thought Magnus was completely selfish when they’d first met.Most people thought about that Magnus; it was image he intentionally curated, apparently.But Magnus had helped him have a semblance of a life yet again.Simon owed him a great debt, and he wasn’t sure how he would ever be able to repay it.

~

One night when Simon was strumming the guitar in the soundproofed library, his phone rang. _Clary_ the screen flashed.At the same time, the door burst open.Magnus was in his pajamas, looking harried. “They found Jace.”

~

Jace looked nearly dead. 

It was immediately apparent to even Simon that whatever had happened to him had been bad.He’d lost weight, and there were thick circles under his eyes.He was silent, staring at his feet.There was a gaggle of people around him, Alec and Clary flanking him on either side, and Simon couldn’t imagine the crowd was making him feel any better. 

Alec looked up desperately at Magnus when they entered.Simon sidled up to Clary, squeezing her shoulder; she leaned into him briefly before pulling away to focus on Jace.“Magnus,” Alec said.His voice was thick and his eyes were red.“We need your help.Valentine put a compulsion spell on him.”

Simon shuddered.He could only imagine what that had entailed. 

Magnus nodded.He turned towards Jace, and his whole body transformed.Magnus was normally a wall of ice in the Institute—even now, when they’d been summoned in the middle of the night, he was in multiple layers with flawless hair and makeup.His eyes were firmly glamoured.But when he turned towards Jace, he softened, looking more like the exasperating, kind hearted man Simon had come to know.“Jace,” Magnus said gently, as if he was talking to a spooked animal.It had none of the teasing edge Simon normally associated between Jace and Magnus.“We’ll fix this, okay?” 

Jace nodded shakily, meeting Magnus’s eyes for the first time.

After that night, Simon saw Magnus even less. Magnus was still training Simon, but he was spending a lot of time at the Institute, working to help undo the curse on Jace.Simon was spending more time at the Institute himself, but their paths rarely crossed.Simon was supporting Clary in whatever way he could; he’d spent more than a few nights holding her as she cried. 

Simon was already back at the loft when Magnus finally came in one such night, practically collapsing onto the couch.He looked pale, and his normally flawless makeup was smeared. 

  
“You okay?”

Magnus nodded, but it wasn’t very convincing.“Just tired.We’ve almost broke the curse, but it’s taking a good bit of magic to get him there.”

Simon winced in sympathy.“That sucks.Is Alec able to lend you strength like that one time, since he’s not a, you know, anymore?”Alec didn’t come over to the loft much, but it was obvious what they were doing when he did.

Magnus smiled.“That was more of an excuse to see Alec than an absolute necessity, although there is a certain power boost from a Shadowhunter that’s. . .untouched.But no.He’s more helpful supporting Jace directly.”

“But isn’t that hard on you?”

Magnus shrugged.“I’ve done worse.” He shook his head. “C’mon. Let’s train.”

They set up the living room to spar, pushing the furniture out of the way.Magnus cast a spell to limit Simon’s strength—a punch from a vampire at full strength could easily kill a Warlock.It was the supernatural equivalent of having his hands taped, Simon supposed.Magnus threw the first punch, and they were off.Simon was pleased with himself—he was holding his own for once—but just as he went for a blow, Magnus seemed to falter.He stumbled, sinking to his knees. 

Simon dropped his fighting stance immediately, bending down to face Magnus.He was pale and sweaty, breathing heavily.His pupils were so dilated there was hardly any gold left.“Magnus?”Simon asked cautiously.

“I’m okay,” Magnus said, panting.He went to stand up, but shook until he sunk back on his knees.“Just overdid it, a bit.”

“C’mon,” Simon said, pulling Magnus’s arms over his shoulder.Magnus didn’t protest.“Let’s get you to the couch.” 

Simon got Magnus settled and went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water.He handed it to Magnus, who drank it gratefully while Simon walked back to the kitchen to grab some almonds for Magnus to snack on.He knew from his reading that a warlock using too much of their magic was incredibly dangerous, and he wasn’t going to take any chances.He’d com to really like this apartment, after all; he didn’t want to move again.

Magnus took the almonds, and he seemed to be feeling better by the time Simon returned with a damp washcloth, because he rolled his eyes at Simon. “Look, Ricky Ricardo, I’m fine.You can stop with the mother hen treatment.”

Simon ignored him, pressing the washcloth to Magnus’s head.“Does that make you Fred?”

“I think I’d rather be Ethel, honestly.She was always the sensible unappreciated one.”

Simon nodded.“Alec is probably more of a Fred, anyway.He’s grumpy enough for it.”

Magnus laughed, and Simon had a brief moment where he believed everything would be okay.

~

Simon was in the loft alone when a frantic knock sounded. He peered out the peephole; Alec was standing in the hallway.He looked more constipated than normal.

Simon opened the door, and Alec glared, immediately walking in.Simon shut the door behind him.“Is Magnus here?” 

  
“No, he had to go help with an emergency for a client.”

Alec swore.“Jace is having a set back.We need his help.I’ll call him, but can you tell him to come by when he gets back?”

Simon glared.“You could _ask_ for his help, ya know.Instead of demanding it.”

Alec looked like a cross between bewildered and annoyed.“What are you even talking about, vamp?”

Simon bared his fangs at Alec.He looked about as intimidated as Jace had that one time Simon had shoved him against the wall, even though this time Simon would argue that he was _totally_ tougher and more intimidating, what with the whole vampire strength and shit.Not much scared the Lightwoods, apparently. 

“When was the last time you said please or asked for his help instead of snapping your fingers like he’s your dog?When was the last time you asked how he was?When was the last time you thanked him?”

“Magnus knows I appreciate how much he’s doing for me,” Alec said.

  
“Does he though?Do you tell him?Because all he knows is that you’re blowing off dates with him to spend your time with Jace.”

“Jace is my parabatai and he was _tortured.”_ Alec’s voice cracked. _“_ He needs me.Magnus understands that.It’s not like I was off doing nothing.”

Simon’s face softened.“Magnus knows how important Jace is to you.And he would never say anything to you.But, just maybe remind him that he’s important to you too?”

Alec sighed.“Just tell him to call me when he gets home, okay?”

~

Simon honestly thought Alec hadn’t taken anything he’d said to heart.Magnus continued long hours at the Institute working with Jace, and Alec was constantly by his parabatai’s side.And truthfully Simon didn’t expect Alec to listen to him—it was clear Alec didn’t like him much—but he still wanted to plant the idea in Alec’s head.After all, who else would say something in Magnus’s defense?Simon had met Cat and a few of Magnus’s other warlock friends, but they were also leading incredibly busy lives, and none of them seemed involved with the Shadowhunters the way Magnus and Simon were. 

But one morning, before Magnus was even up, he found Alec squinting at Magnus’s complicated coffee maker.

Simon squeaked as he padded into the kitchen.Alec glanced up, shushing him.Simon sputtered as Alec went back to staring at the coffee maker.“Oh my god,” he panted.He had to remind himself that he could probably take a serial killer lurking in the loft now.“What are you doing here?”  


“. . .I’m trying to make breakfast.”

“They don’t have coffee at the Institute?”

Alec grunted.“I’m trying to make breakfast for Magnus.”

Simon blinked, processing that.“Oh my god,” she said slowly. “Are you trying to do something romantic for him?”

Alec glared harder. 

“Oh my god, you actually listened to what I had to say, didn’t you?”

“Not a word, vampire.”

“Okay,” Simon said, grinning.“My lips are sealed.But one suggestion?”

“I thought you said you were going to shut up.”

“Take him out for breakfast.Trust me.Whatever you can manage to wrangle up in his kitchen without waking him up won't be as good as what you could get at a nice restaurant, and it’s kind of a buzzkill having a roommate snoring in the room next you.I’d leave, but.Ya know.I like not being fried to a crisp.”

Alec narrowed his eyes, not saying anything.

“Or, ya know,” Simon said nervously.“Make him bagels.I’m sure he’d like that too.”

“. . .It’s not the worst idea.”

Simon fist pumped.

There was the sound of soft footsteps padding from the hallway.Alec glared at Simon.“Leave.Now.”

Simon grinned.“Okay.Wear a condom!”

He ran down the hall, passing Magnus as he went towards his bedroom.“Morning, Magnus!” he shouted as he sped by.

“. . . Good morning, Simon,” Magnus said bewilderingly.Simon couldn’t help but snicker.He hoped Alec took him somewhere nice.

~

When he woke up again, he could hear the murmur of the TV and gentle voices below it.Alec was still here, and, judging by the soft laughter he could hear, he and Magnus seemed to be in a good place.His stomach rumbled.He didn’t want to get up and disturb them, but he was really, really hungry. 

Magnus and Alec were curled into each other on the couch, heads tilted towards each other. There were a number of bags on the floor; Alec must have really been trying to apologize. _Sense8_ was playing quietly on the tv.They were so wrapped up in each other that Simon managed to sneak past them to get a bag of blood from the kitchen, but as he closed the fridge softly, they separated slightly, craning to look at him.“This a good show,” he said, gesturing at the tv.

Magnus rolled his eyes.“I know.You’ve talked about it enough.You should come and watch it with us.”

Simon hesitated.He wouldn’t mind some company, but he really, really didn’t want to crash their date.Alec rolled his eyes.“You live here too; it’s your living room too.” 

Simon looked back at Magnus, and Magnus nodded encouragingly. 

Simon hesitated, looking down at the bag of blood in his hand and then back up to Alec.It hadn’t escaped him that Magnus had his eyes glamoured.He was used to feeding around Magus, but—“I’ll just be right back.I need to feed first.”

Alec rolled his eyes.“You forget how Izzy cooks.Watching you down a bag of blood in the living room won’t even make the top ten most disgusting things I’ve seen people eat because of her.”

“Okay,” Simon said hesitantly.He made his way around to the couch, bag clutched in his hand.

“At least get a cup first,” Magnus said.“I can’t imagine the plastic tastes good.”

Simon nodded, and walked back to the kitchen to pour his blood into a bowl.Grabbing a spoon, he walked back out into the living room.Magnus and Alec were pressed together closely on the couch; Simon felt very alone, suddenly. 

~

It didn’t escape his notice that Magnus went to bed, Alec trailed behind him.Simon slipped off to his room to do some reading Magnus had given him.He was enthralled in a book about the history of Seelies, when he heard a muffled _thud_.Simon tensed, trying to figure out if someone was trying to break past the wards on the apartment, when he heard a low moan.

Oh God.Where they—?

“Harder,”he heard one of them say.

Simon buried his head in his pillow.Tomorrow, he might just have to walk out into the sunlight and kill himself just to erase this memory. 

~

Magnus sighed, poking the fire.Simon wasn’t even sure how, magic or not, Magnus had managed to install a working fire place in a New York apartment, but there it was.“No, I told you.The pink one is for _blood_ magic.” 

Simon scowled, staring at his text book, but before he could respond, the loft vibrated softly.Someone was coming through the wards.Magnus put the fire poker in its bin upside down, frowning; judging by the careless gesture, he clearly wasn’t expecting anyone.

“Magnus!” he heard a voice yell.Simon stiffened.It was Raphael.“Stop ignoring my calls you old crone!” 

Magnus sighed, rubbing his forehead.“Simon,” he said, snapping his fingers.A portal appeared.“Go to the Institute for a bit.” 

“That’s Raphael,” Simon said, ignoring him.“You know him?”  


Before Magnus could respond, the door burst open, Raphael standing in the entryway.He glared at Simon.“ _You,”_ he hissed.Magnus sighed again, dropping his hand and letting the portal close shut.

Simon wasn’t sure how to react.He still felt incredibly guilty about betraying Raphael.Raphael had taken him in and given him a home.He’d taught him how to be a vampire.He and Magnus were a lot alike that way.But Raphael had also refused to help them when they’d needed his help.And, no matter the fact that Camille had killed him, it had been Raphael that had taken Simon to her in the first place. 

“Me,” he snapped, stepping up to Raphael.Raphael responded in kind.“Magnus has been letting me stay here since _you_ kicked me out.”

“You betrayed us,” Raphael hissed. 

Magnus waved a hand.“Raphael, sit down and let’s talk about this calmly.”

Raphael laughed bitterly.“How long do you think it’ll be before he turns on you too, Magnus?”

Something in Simon snapped.He lunged at Raphael.Raphael lunged back, fangs descending.He put his arm out, ready to shove Raphael against the wall, alien vampire instincts telling him to kill or be killed.

Magnus stepped in between them.

One thing of many Simon still hadn’t gotten used to was how _strong_ he was as a vampire. Magnus had to magically reduce his strength for sparring sessions.Every time he was around his family or Clary, all he could think about was how easy it would be to accidentally crush them in a hug.Hell, even Luke he could probably accidentally kill all too easily.

Warlocks didn’t have that strength.Sure, Magnus could send things flying with a flick of his wrist, and he was incredibly skilled in hand to hand combat.But his body, for all intents and purposes, reflected the Mundane side of his heritage.It couldn’t stand up to the strength of a vampire.

So when Magnus got between two clashing vampires not entirely paying attention to their surroundings, he got hit with a shove meant for someone much more durable than him.

Simon wasn’t sure if it was him or Raphael that actually hit Magnus.All he knew was that one second, he and Raphael were ready to kill each other, and the next they were both frozen in horror as they watched Magnus sail through the air.He landed with a sickening thud against the exposed brick walls of the loft; Simon could tell from where he was standing that Magnus lost consciousness when his head slammed against the wall. 

And then they watched with horror as Magnus’s body dropped down, right onto the fire poker he’d unthinkingly left upside down earlier.

There was a sickening squelch as the sharp tip forced its into Magnus’s back.His body jolted with the sudden impact, and as it slid down further, the tip of the poker, gleaming red in the warm light of the loft, emerged from his chest.

Simon couldn’t help but sniff.The scent of Magnus’s blood was singing through the air; warlock blood was sweeter and cleaner smelling than Shadowhunter and mundane blood.Despite himself, his fangs descended. 

Raphael glared at him.“Get _out_ ,” he hissed, moving towards Magnus. 

“But—“Simon protested, but Magnus looked so pale, and all Simon could smell was his blood.

“Now, Simon.” 

And Simon did.

~

Simon didn’t know how long he’d been sitting hunched in the hallway before he heard heavy boots stomping down the hallway. _Alec._ Sure enough, a few seconds later, Alec’s voice boomed out, “did Magnus finally kick you out?”Simon usually took glee in the fact that he had totally been right; Alec had loosened up considerably once he’d started getting laid on the regular.But all he could focus on was the image of the fire poker jutting out of Magnus’s unconscious body.

He looked up, and Alec saw whatever grief was still in his eyes, because his steps quickened.“Simon?”Alec asked, all levity gone.“What’s wrong?Is Magnus okay?”

Simon’s mouth opened, and then closed it.What was he supposed to say?Alec’s eyes widened, and he ran into the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Simon was left alone again.

~

More time passed.Simon shivered in the cold hallway.

~

Eventually, the door opened.He was hoping for Raphael, or even Magnus himself, but instead it was Catarina.She never bothered to glamor herself at the loft; her blue skin looked pale, and there were dark bruises under her eyes.She shut the door gently behind her, and slid to sit down against the wall across from Simon.He looked at her hopefully.

“He’s okay,” she said, knowing the first thing Simon would ask.“He’s awake and wants to see you, but fair warning: Alec is on the warpath.I’m not sure we’ll find Raphael alive when we return.”  
  
“How. . .”Simon swallowed.“How bad was it?”

“Bad enough,” she said.“But he’ll be okay, with some rest.” 

Simon nodded, following her into the loft.Raphael was sitting on the couch, head burrowed in his hands.Catarina slipped back into the bedroom, but Simon paused.He couldn’t smell Magnus’s blood any longer, and the fire poker was nowhere to be seen.

“Wait,” Raphael said quietly as Simon went to follow Catarina.“Sit down.”

“Are you going to try to kill me again?” he said warily.

“Me try to kill _you—“_ Raphael took a deep breath.“Sit, please.”

He settled into the chair across from Raphael.

Raphael looked up.He looked exhausted.“I’ve known Magnus since I was turned,” he said quietly.Simon took a deep breath.Raphael had never told Simon much about the circumstances of his turning.He knew that Raphael had been turned a few decades ago, but nothing beyond that.“He took me in.Helped me.Made sure I didn’t kill myself.”

Something clicked into place.“Magnus said he’d set up his apartments to be safe for vampires to stay with him before.It wasn’t just Camille he was talking about.It was you.”

Raphael tilted his head.“He’s done a lot for me.Saved my life more times than I can count.So when I heard that you were living with him, after you sold us out to Camille, you can understand why I was concerned.Especially after he stopped answering my calls.”

“ I would _never_ hurt Magnus.I did what I had to.I had to help Clary wake her mom up, and Camille was the only one who knew where the book was.Jocelyn is like a second mother to me, and she was the only one who had even a clue how to stop Valentine.”

“And yet, here we are.I thought you would have said the same about me a few months ago.”

Simon sighed.“I don’t know what to tell you.I did what I thought was best, and I won’t apologize.”

They sat in silence before Simon continued.“What were you even doing here?”

“Like I said, he wasn’t responding to my calls.I was . . .concerned.”

“Why were you concerned?He was the one that knew Camille had the book in the first place, you know.Magnus told me you guys wouldn’t bother him for that and for taking me in because he was kind of crazy and known for doing weird stuff, but you weren’t rushing to make sure I was okay.”

Raphael blinked.“I mean, it’s not completely untrue—Magnus does have a reputation for being fairly eccentric—but he saved my life.Multiple times.I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him, and he knows I would never do anything to hurt him even if he was killing vampires on the street.I owe him too great a debt.”

“Well, that’s one thing we have in common.Although I can’t imagine him letting me stay here, after all this.I guess I can sleep in the Jade Wolf.”

Raphael waved a hand.“Magnus won’t kick you out.He’s too kind for that.”

“He’s too kind for a lot of things.Why does he let people think that he's not?”  
  
Raphael sighed.“You should ask him that.”

Simon nodded, standing and walking to the bedroom. 

“Simon,” Raphael called.

“Let’s talk later.When things have calmed down a bit.”

Simon nodded, walking into the bedroom.

The scene before him was eerily reminiscent of when Magnus had healed Luke.Catarina had disappeared; Alec was clutching Magnus’s hand, but this time it was Magnus propped up against a mound of pillows.Like with Luke, there was a white bandage wrapped around Magnus’s torso, blood staining the pristine white.He was wrapped in a silk kimono and a loose pair of track pants; an odd combination, butcompletely Magnus.His cat eyes were out; he must be too tired to glamor them, Simon imagined. 

“Simon!My friend.Come and sit with us.”Magnus waved a hand.

“Magnus,” Simon said.His voice was trembling.“I’m so sorry—“

Magnus sighed.“Alec, let me have a moment to talk to Simon.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a great idea.”

“Alec,” Magnus reprimanded.

“You can’t even glamour your eyes right now.If he tries anything—“

Magnus rolled his eyes.“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Alec.Simon isn’t going to do anything.Right Simon?”

“I wouldn’t!” Simon reassured.

“See?He and Raphael just got into a dick measuring contest that got out of control.It happens to the best of us.” 

Alec gave him a skeptical look, but he slid off the bed, pressing a gentle kiss to Magnus’s temple as he did so.He stalked out of the room, watching Simon the whole time; he gave Simon a look that clearly said _if you touch one hair on my boyfriend’s head, I will kill you._

Simon couldn’t blame him, really.It was his fault Magnus was there in the first place. Simon’s breath quickened.He’d fucked things up again.Magnus was okay, thank God, but there was no way he’d want to keep living with Simon after this, no matter what Raphael said.He’d started to feel safe with Magnus and Raphael, in a way that he hadn’t with the Shadowhunters; it was clear that they _understood._ As much as it sucked, they knew what is was to be discriminated against. Simon had ruined things _again,_ and now he was going to have to go back to the Institute and sleep in a cold, sterile coffin. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again when Alec left.“I’ll move my stuff back to the Institute tonight.”

Magnus rolled his eyes.“Please, there’s no need for that.It happens.That’s not even the first time Raphael has nearly gotten me killed this decade.”

He blinked. “You’re not. . .you’re not mad?”

“I’m a little annoyed, no doubt.You can make it up to be by letting me dress you.I cannot stare at those god awful Converse another day.”

Simon felt his lip quibble.“I don’t—why are you so _nice?_ You let people think you’re some selfish asshole, but you’re pulling all the strings in the background, making people’s lives easier and wearing yourself out in the process.”

Magnus sighed, patting the bed beside him.Simon hesitated, and Magnus hit the bed harder.Simon stepped forward, sliding gently on the bed.Magnus smiled.“I’ve lived a long time, Simon.I’ve had some bad things happen to me during that time, and some really good things. I’ve learned a lot during my life, but there are two recurring themes.First: it’s a lot harder for people to take advantage of you if you come off as untouchable.But also: if you don’t help those in need, there’s no point in living.I had a lot of people be kind to me when I didn’t deserve it; what would be the point if I didn’t pay it forward?”

Simon nodded, pressing his head into the sheets.He still didn’t quite understand Magnus, but he was so incredibly grateful for him.Simon didn’t totally understand what his life as a vampire, but, maybe, if Magnus was still this good after all this time, there was hope for Simon yet.

“Hey,” Magnus said, tapping his head.Simon looked up.“I lied.You wanna know my secret?”  


“What?”

Magnus smiled dopily.“I am high _as fuck_ on some painkillers Cat gave me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at ohlafraise.tumblr.com. Comments are always appreciated, but please no spoilers for S2 as I probably won't get to watch it tonight!


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